Confidence. It’s something only a few people seem to have naturally. They wake up and boom, they’re confident. They can walk up to any woman at a bar with ease. They can talk to anyone about any opinion they have. However, here’s a couple of things to consider: 1) This confidence could be completely a mask they wear. A lot of people have to work really hard to gain confidence, and 2) there’s nothing wrong with being someone who needs to work at their confidence.
That being said, being confident around women is something we all want to achieve. It seems women expect a cool, fun, charismatic guy, but how do you get there?
Here are some tips to boost confident around women that will help you transform how you think about yourself, how others think about you, and can truly change how you interact with others, especially women.
Kill negative thoughts
Being confident around women requires some self motivation. If you are negative to yourself about talking to women you will never be seen as the calm and cool person you want to. However, sometimes having your boys by your side to boost your ego is not always accessible. The thing is, you don’t need outside validation to have the confidence to talk to a woman. All you need is to be your own hype man and to get rid of your negative perspective.
Simply having a positive outlook on the situation, even if you feel negative or insecure will produce a more confident exterior. Repeat positive phrases to build confidence, such as, “you got this”, “I don’t care about rejection, “I am a great guy, she’s going to love me”, “I am attractive, funny, smart”, etc. You have the confidence within you, it’s all just a matter of unlocking it. These positive affirmations help to convince your mind that the statements are real and help you feel confident talking to a woman.
Prepping for the conversation is the best way to show a woman confidence. Just like in an interview, the most confident seeming individuals usually did a lot of prep work. The more you practice doing something scary or unknown, the less intimidating it becomes. The more you are rejected and become more prepared for rejection by women, the easier it gets, and the more you practice speaking to women, the more natural it will become.
Prep for rejection by being real with yourself; “There are a ton of guys at this bar, in the world, I might not be her type, I might not be tall enough, cool enough, old enough.” Maybe she’s in a relationship, working on herself, just wants a fun night with her friends, is trying to work, etc. Don’t take it personally.
Also, make sure to have different topics to talk about so you never run out of things to say. If you know she went to a certain college or has a certain hobby, prepare questions to ask her. Keep that go to funny story in your back pocket that is sure to make her laugh.
“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” – Colin Powell
You might put in a lot of prep work to start out strong when talking with a woman, but how do you keep up with showing confidence to a woman during a conversation as it continues? Your brain might be scattered, your calm, cool, collected exterior may start to dwindle, and the last thing you want is to start seeming nervous midway through the conversation.
Something that can help both of you is to speak slowly. This gives you time to formulate what you want to say, and also is attributed to an overall more confident person. When it comes to being confident in front of a woman, communication is key. Women definitely pick up on small communicative attributes, so make sure you speak slowly and confidently. She will love to listen to you and you will feel better about yourself and what you have to say.
No one likes to speak to someone who is closed off and slumped. This signifies someone who is tired, maybe hiding something, or someone who might constantly play victim; None of which are appealing to a woman.
Standing tall is one of the best quick and easy things to do to portray the confident man you are. Standing up straight with your shoulders rolled back is attributed to confidence, authority, while looking a little more on the slumped side is associated with someone insecure and trying to hide.
Don’t close yourself off. Open yourself up to her and she will open up to you.
Don’t underestimate the power of working out to boost your confidence.
Working out can raise your endorphins, making you feel better emotionally. You will feel happier from this natural high you get from working out which can boost confidence. Working out also makes you feel stronger and can temporarily improve your posture, making you feel more confident when speaking to a woman.
There is also the sense of pride you get from being productive and doing something good for your body. This can, as a result, give you a confident, prideful (in the good way) exterior and attitude about you.
Learn something new
Learning something new is a great way to feel more confident about your intellect. Although physically you must prepare to talk to a woman, mentally preparing is also a good idea. It’s always good to have a back up topic of conversation if you are both at a loss for words. Maybe bring up a book you just read, or a documentary you just watched and ask her if she is into that kind of thing.
Education is key for being an interesting person. Knowledge is power and having more knowledge can definitely boost your confidence by making you feel more interesting. When you know more than others, it does make you feel that you carry some higher intellect on a certain topic. Let that feeling show itself positively when you need a confidence boost.
Dress nicely and groom yourself
If you look good you feel good. This goes without saying but is often overlooked. If you want to boost confident around women, be comfortable with how you look and make sure to look good. Don’t just wear something that isn’t your style, this too will radiate insecurity and discomfort. Figure out an outfit or several outfits that truly reflect the person you are and wear those whenever you need a boost of confidence.
Practicing good hygiene is also part of looking good. Recognize when you need to whiten your teeth, get a haircut, clip, trim, or tweeze to look and feel your best. Having confidence in yourself is definitely attributed to self care. Smell is very important to feel confident around women. Smell is associated with memory more than any other sense in the human body. If you want to be remembered in a positive way, smelling nice is a great place to start. Women take note of small details like hygiene and style more than men do, so nailing this portion should make you feel much more confident when talking to women.
Don’t compare yourself to others
If there is a quicker way to lose confidence, start focusing on other people’s strengths and comparing them to yourself. When you compare others to yourself, it’s difficult to keep in mind that people who we think are amazing at something might struggle just as much as you are, or have confidence issues in another area of their life.
Comparing yourself to others is such a waste of your energy. You could be using that energy to think positively about yourself, something that actually can help boost confidence. Spend your energy improving yourself and get rid of the negative comparisons.
One simple way to boost confident around women is to simply smile. Smiling actually makes you feel happier and, since you’re happier, you will feel naturally more confident in yourself.
Women are also much more responsive to a man who seems friendly, not aggressive, or cocky. A sincere smile when speaking to a woman is a great way to let her know that you don’t have any ulterior motives, that you are friendly and easy going. This should, therefore, make you feel more confident as she will be more at ease and comfortable speaking with you.
Build a positive support network
Having a support system that has your back is key for confidence, no matter what form. If you want to have confidence, talking to women or in other aspects of your life, surround yourself with people who make you feel valued.
Human beings like to feel secure. We like to feel like we can have trust in those we surround ourselves with. If you are trusting of your friends and family that they have your best interests at heart and value you, this leaves room for more confidence and less stress or insecurity.
The correct body language can definitely help you show confidence to a woman. It is said that the first seven seconds is all it takes for someone to form an opinion about you. If you come off creepy, nervous, or intimidating, the woman you want to talk to will have a negative reaction and it can throw off your confidence and the whole conversation, if you still get to have one. Essentially, fake it ‘till you make it with body language. If your body looks and acts confident, your mind will perceive it as the truth.
Make sure to roll your shoulders back, lean in slightly, and smile occasionally, especially upon walking up. Let go of any tension beforehand that can diminish confidence. Good posture and body language is one of the biggest signs of a confident person.
Being confident when talking to women is a difficult task sometimes. Even the most confident men struggle with this at times. Don’t let fear hold you back from living the life you want to live and start being the confident man you want to be. You’ll look back and thank yourself later.
“Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it.” – Stan Smith