Being in a perfect relationship is impossible. However being in a loving relationship is something more feasible. That being said, you can have a loving relationship that still is not healthy. Will love or health in a relationship be the better factor? Both take effort, but having a healthy relationship ensures that your relationship is founded on several principals that showcase maturity, longevity, and love.
Just like going to the gym to keep your body healthy, you both must work at your relationship to keep it healthy. The trouble is, most people don’t know what a healthy relationship actually is or where to start to become a healthy partner. Here are the 10 signs you are in a healthy relationship.
1. There is Trust in the Relationship
In a trusting relationship, you both are not suspicious of each other’s whereabouts, but value the others independence and truly believe that you picked a partner who will always come back to you with honest intentions.
Trust in a relationship is key. Without trust, the relationship is built on suspicion which is not productive or loving and can be very stressful. Trust is what gives you roots in your relationship. Without a trusting belief system in your relationship, it is sure to fail.
2. You are Honest with Each Other
Honesty is very important in a relationship because, without it, you lose all trust you have built. Being open and honest with your partner establishes trust and shows to them a vulnerable side of you. Being vulnerable in a relationship creates a bond between the two of you.
The truth will set you free. This goes further than just telling your partner that you did something you shouldn’t have. It means being honest with yourself about your intentions with the person you are with too and letting that be known.
3. You are Both Independent People
Remaining the independent person you were before stepping into a new relationship is important. Becoming too emotionally dependent can lead to several different issues.
Being clingy or needy or emotionally dependent is indeed very toxic and draining to the other person. Becoming an emotionally dependent person also leads you to set unrealistic expectations for your partner and, when your partner fails to meet your expectations, you may end up resenting them.
Having two separate lives with separate friends, problems, jobs, hobbies, interests, etc. also leads way for a much more interesting and colorful relationship that the two of you create together.
4. You Both Have Respect for Each Other
Respect may go further than simply just liking each other. While it is important to like each others’ attributes, it showcases the depth of a relationship if you both mutually respect each other.
According to the Oxford dictionary, respect is, “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.” The depth really is the key phrase here. This means that your morals and values are showcased within your partner’s own actions the way that you acknowledge them the way you would your own.
5. You Each Put Equal Effort into the Relationship
Actions speak louder than words and this is why effort is so vitally important. You can tell your partner how much they mean to you, but if that isn’t shown in your actions, it might come across as a lie.
Showing effort might mean paying attention to them fully in a conversation, doing acts of service, like going above and beyond with cleaning or cooking when they had a rough day, or even just buying them flowers to brighten their day.
It is the equal part that makes all the difference. If one isn’t putting the same amount of effort into the relationship, it loses all its balance and the relationship can come crumbling down.
6. You Care for Each Other
During the honeymoon phase, caring about the person you are with comes naturally. However over a couple years or even a couple months, truly caring about your partner might get put on the back burner.
You might start to get familiar with the things they cry over, for example. But acknowledging that same respect you have for your person and the vulnerability they are showcasing to you can establish that trust that they are cared for by you.
7. You Deal with Conflict in a Healthy Way
Conflict is inevitable in a relationship. In fact, it is actually a good thing. It shows that the two of you are honest and trusting with each other to be vulnerable about your feelings. However, it is the difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict that can make or break a relationship.
One of Gwendolyn Seidman’s (Ph.D.) signs of a healthy argument is to not automatically get defensive and to try and see from another perspective when your partner states something about you that you might not like.
During a healthy argument you both remain calm and collected without getting defensive. Know that you cannot change your partner and that your relationship is built on trust and respect.
8. You Have Fun Together
Having fun together is one of the signs that you have developed an actual friendship with your partner. Although a romantic relationship is based on romance, being genuine friends with the person you are with is going to keep your relationship lasting through all the difficulties.
While looks fade and life difficulties arise, if you and your partner can still laugh at the same jokes, find humor through the dark times, and find the other funny, your relationship will last a long time.
9. You Like Each Other Right Now
While it is fun to daydream about the future, it can be seriously dangerous to like someone too much for their potential. Think about the person you are currently with. If the main things you like about them are future oriented you might have a problem.
The trouble with hanging on to the dream of a future with your partner is that it might never happen. You might not get married at the perfect age of 28. Your partner might not fulfil their dream of becoming a lawyer. If you can look at your partner and say that you still would love them regardless, you’re in the clear. If you like the future version of your partner better, they might not be the right one for you.
10. You Share the Same Values and Goals
Having discussions about where your partner lies on certain topics is very beneficial. It shows if they are the right fit for you or not. While it might not be wise to create a relationship based on purely politics, religion, or any other topic you are passionate about, if your partner doesn’t agree with the fundable beliefs that make you who you are, then that is a huge part of you they don’t like or approve of.
Having respect for your partner is very important and being with a partner who doesn’t have respect for the things you do might carry over to them not having respect for you as a person.
Sharing the same values and goals as your partner makes life with them easier and more loving in the long run.
Being in a relationship is no cake walk. Anyone who said love is effortless is clearly just living in a Nicholas Sparks fantasy. As David McKay once said, “All good things require effort”. This is absolutely true about a good relationship. When was the last time that something truly good and amazing happened for you didn’t cost a lot of money, time, or energy?
If you are in a healthy relationship already then these 10 signs resonated well with your and your partner. If not, now is a good time to look deeper into these 10 items and start actively introducing them into your relationship.