There is no real scientific way to determine what love is. Love really is in the eye of the beholder. Love is complex and sometimes confusing. It can be hard to tell how someone really feels about you considering everyone has different ways of showing their love and affection. Even trying to validate your own feelings and maneuver what’s going on within your own mind and heart can be a complicated journey.
However, figuring out if you actually love someone is critical before making any major adjustments to your love life. It is an important step to protect your heart. But how do you know if you actually love someone? Here are ten ways to tell if you love someone.
1. They’re the first person you reach out to when you’re upset or excited
We love people who take us truly for who we are. This person is the one who makes you feel safe, respected and supported, so of course when you feel like you could use some support for a good or bad reason, think of who immediately pops into your head. This should be a clear sign.
Whether you’ve gotten in a fight with your parents and need someone to vent to, or you’ve just gotten the job of your dreams, the person you love the most is the person who will be there to collect all the emotions filling your head in the moment. You love them for the fact that they are there for you and they listen and support you like no one else.
2. Everything is fun even mundane tasks
If you’re in love with someone even the simplest of tasks will be fun and pleasurable. Going to a grocery store could be an adventure, helping them study for a test is a fun little date, cooking dinner together tops a 5 star restaurant.
The reason behind this is because it’s not the actual activities you’re doing that make it fun or pleasurable, it’s the person. Their presence alone, their energy, gives you a boost of serotonin so even the dullest of tasks can be a mini adventure with them.
3. You want to introduce them to your friends and family
When you start feeling super excited to share this person to your family and friends it might mean you actually really love them. This means you want to share your life with them, you want to be vulnerable and open with them, which can be a sure sign you’re in love.
This might signify that you believe that they are good enough to show to your friends and family, and you’re excited to get positive feedback about your new person.
4. You compare them to your ex
This sounds confusing at first, but this just means that you are preparing to potentially love someone the same amount, if not more, than the last person you were with. Think about it; if you are dating someone who doesn’t really have potential, you’re not going to compare them to other solid relationship experiences because they’re not even in the same vicinity of a possibility.
So, If you find you’re thinking about your ex a little more when you’re with your new person, it might just be the brain trying to understand how this person will relate to a past experience that was similar to this one.
5. You want to hang out with them all the time
It isn’t enough to see them once and a while. You feel like a hole is being filled when you’re around them. It’s not that they are a fun fling, they are a genuinely positive added bonus to your life so you want as much as you can get. You don’t get tired of them and they don’t drain you. They uplift you and give you energy.
6. They’re on your mind literally all the time
Love can make you constantly think about your person for a couple of reasons:
- Their existence gives you a lot of serotonin. So literally replaying memories gives you a boost throughout your day.
- You genuinely have empathy for them and care about them so your mind is consumed by hoping they are doing ok, wondering about their day, wishing them luck, etc. because you genuinely care about them.
Because you’re thinking about this person a lot for these two reasons, you might just love this person.
7. You’ve stopped trying to impress anyone else
When you’re in love, this person consumes your mind. You feel fulfilled completely by thinking about them and being with them, so you don’t feel like there is anything missing that needs to be fulfilled.
When you’re single or dating the wrong person, you might still look around and see if there is anything better because something just doesn’t seem complete. But complete true love will show itself in this way.
8. You love their quirks
If you feel like anything your person does, whether gross or weird, doesn’t really bug you, you probably love them. Whether they sing super operatic in the shower, chew weird when you’re eating dinner, or will only keep the volume of the TV on even numbers, none of it seems to bother you.
Think about it the opposite way; when you don’t like someone even the tiniest things they do might set you off. So, if you love someone then even the weirdest things you do won’t set you off.
9. You can be yourself around them
When you love someone there are no boundaries and you feel safe. You can really tell its true love when it feels like they’re an extension of you. You don’t feel intimidated by them or embarrassed by what they might think. Whether you are acting super goofy in public, or showing a more vulnerable side, someone you love is going to make you feel completely comfortable in your own skin.
10. You don’t want to stay mad when you’re in an argument
It will be pretty difficult to stay mad at the person you love when you’re in an argument. You find it so hard to stay upset with them because even when they do things you don’t love, all in all you love them so it evens out.
If you find that during an argument you might want to hug them, to just finish it up so you can both just be happy again, or maybe you actually even start to laugh, then you probably love them. You realize that this argument doesn’t define your love for eachother and that you two are a team.
Love is a complicated thing. It can take years before really understanding what you actually are looking for in someone, what you actually love. When love finds you, you will know it because of these specific indicators. And if you haven’t found love yet, don’t worry! There is no use in rushing it.
“That’s how you know you love someone, I guess. When you can’t experience anything without wishing the other person was there to see it too.” – Kaui Hart Hemmings