You would never act that way towards her. But she always does it to you.
You’re always worried about his happiness. But what does he do to show you that he cares about yours?
If these examples sound like your recent thoughts, we have some bad news. These are signs of an unhealthy relationship that is poisoning your life.
Fortunately, bad news can be good news if it enables you to do something about it. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do today.
If nothing else, we want to make you aware of these relationship toxins that you should never, ever put up with. The behaviors listed below are abusive and utterly unacceptable. For your sake, read on to learn whether or not you are entangled in a bad relationship.
1. You Constantly Worry About Upsetting Them
Do you find that you get anxiety any time this person is around? Specifically, do you feel like you always have to tiptoe around them, careful of everything you do so as not to upset them?
This is a general symptom of an unhealthy relationship. The particular problems that cause this phenomenon are most likely listed below.
In any case, it’s clear that the relationship is one-sided and is making you emotionally unwell. After all, you don’t see this person fretting about upsetting you, do you?
2. They Don’t Respect You or Your Boundaries
Another bad sign is that they constantly, and unapologetically, do things that bother you. Now, don’t confuse this with the normal, acceptable level of quirks and pet peeves that are present in any relationship.
What we’re talking about is someone who has no regard for your boundaries or how their actions affect you. This type of person does or says whatever they feel like, regardless of whether or not it hurts you.
When they do hurt you, they don’t apologize. Nor do they change the offensive behavior or even seem to care at all.
Besides, once you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you’re well aware of what bothers the other person. Typically, you respect this person by avoiding these behaviors.
But a toxic person in a relationship has no respect. They know what bothers you and they do it anyway.
3. Everything’s Your Fault
Are you in a relationship with someone who never admits they’re wrong? This is not simply a mild character flaw. It’s malicious and hurtful.
You see, if they’re never wrong, it means that you’re always wrong. Actually, it would mean that they’re perfect. Meanwhile, it sends the message that you’re inferior, a complete screwup who causes all the problems in the relationship.
This is a horrible way to treat someone. Conversely, someone who cares about you wouldn’t treat you this way.
4. They Constantly Criticize You
Never admitting fault is passively harmful. But unfair criticism is actively cruel. Besides blaming everything on you, an overly critical person seeks out opportunities to ridicule your shortcomings.
Eventually, this abusive behavior becomes automatic. That is, they take advantage of every chance they get to take a jab at you.
And, yes, you read that right. This is abuse. It’s bullying and it is not okay.
5. They Don’t Forgive
One source of constant criticism in an unhealthy relationship is holding grudges. Does someone in your life constantly bring up some past mistake you’ve made? It may even be several mistakes.
There’s no reason for this. If you’ve done everything you can to fix your mistake, why should you still be made to suffer?
Besides, mistakes can never truly be 100% fixed, anyway. For example, you can break an egg, but you can’t unbreak it. You can glue the shell fragments back together and put most of the egg goop back inside but it won’t be the same.
The point is, you can only do so much to fix a mistake. And being punished for it to no end won’t change that.
Thus, the person punishing you is just being needlessly cruel. What you did may have been bad, but it can’t be worse than deriding someone (you) for the rest of their life.
6. They’re Always Apathetic/Distant
Apathy is less intense than cruelty. But it’s still one of the signs of a bad relationship.
A relationship is like a living thing, like a plant. Potted plants need water and sunlight to stay alive. Ignore them and they die.
Likewise, a relationship also requires active care and nurturing. Apathy, distance, and lack of engagement kill relationships.
7. They’re Overly Needy/Clingy
On the other end of the bad relationship spectrum is obsession. Now, it definitely feels nice to be cared about. But it does not feel nice when someone seems addicted to you like you’re some kind of drug.
This behavior is unhealthy for them and unsettling for you. Plus, it puts you in a weird position.
They’re happy only when you’re there. Without you, they’re a painful wreck.
Since it seems their happiness depends on you, you feel responsible for it. Then, you may worry that you have to constantly be at their beck and call.
But you are not responsible for their happiness. They are. Holding you responsible is just selfish manipulation.
8. They’re Manipulative/Possessive of You
Even more extreme than obsession is possessiveness. They need you desperately. They feel they must never be without you.
So, they try to control you. This person may actively try to keep you contained all to his/herself, forbidding you to spend time on your other relationships.
Of course, sometimes it’s not personal. Sometimes, the manipulative person is just selfish. They want everyone to do what they want, the way they want it done.
They see you not as a friend but as a possession, like a toy. And they treat their toys however they feel like. Don’t put up with these signs of manipulation in a relationship.
Have You Noticed These Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship?
If you’ve noticed these signs of an unhealthy relationship, it’s time to do something about it. Using this guide as reference, gather some loved ones to support you and plan how to confront the toxic person.
For more relationship advice check out 7 Self-Love Practices After a Hard Breakup.