At some point (or another in life), we have all tried and failed at something. As a matter of fact, there is a long list of failures behind every successful person. Dealing with failure, though, can be a grueling task.
So, what do you do after you’ve tried and failed?
Do you become a lazy slob, listening to sad songs on repeat and crying yourself to sleep? Do you gobble up tubs of Ben & Jerry’s and gulp down Bud Lights every waking hour? Do you complain about what’s happened to you 24/7? Crazy as they may sound, these are all things people do when they are suddenly struck by failure. We are here to say that that is all right!
What is not all right is when you stay in this state of misery and despair for a long, long time!
We understand that repeated failures may grind people’s lives to a halt, immobilizing them and squelching their holistic development. What people “fail” to realize, however, is that failing at some things in life is really OK. There is nothing to be gained from succumbing to your failures, and it’s not like you can go back in time and change what happened anyway!
We strongly believe that failure is the best teacher, even to the extent that it can help you avoid further breakdowns in life. With that in mind, let’s go over 11 very important points to remember to avoid falling victim to your failures and to learn from them instead.
1. Accept your failures
Failure threatens most people. Therefore, they often make it a point not to step outside their comfort bubbles to explore new avenues in life. This is obviously a destructive mindset, as it restricts people from making new personal and professional discoveries.
Ideally, you should come to terms with the facts that it’s possible for you screw up and that failure is part and parcel of life. You should accept your failure, considering it a new learning opportunity instead of a sign of defeat; only then will you be able to achieve your full potential.
2. Stay calm and patient
Often, failing at something leaves people full of disappointment and anger. They only think about the what ifs, drowning in a sea of regrets. Perhaps you should realize, however, that, no matter how much you think about something that went wrong, you cannot change your past.
So, rather than letting your frustration and anger get the best of you, keep your composure and emote positively. Learn to reflect objectively on what happened, go through your mistakes, and think about how you can avoid making the same mistakes again.
3. Do not lose your self-confidence
If, somehow, you always fail in life despite working hard, this could take a huge toll on your self-confidence. Just because you have failed several times in the past, however, that does not mean you cannot find success in the future!
All you really need to reach your final destination is to take a leap of faith, and then another… Keep taking your shots until you get to the other side. There are two ingredients that will make the dish of your life more delicious: a generous amount of self-confidence and some fine-tuning in your efforts (courtesy of the previous attempt).
4. Do not rationalize your failures
Have you heard of “The Fox and the Grapes”? It’s one of Aesop’s fables, where a fox tries to eat grapes from a vine, but is not able to reach them. Rather than accept defeat, he figures, “Perhaps the grapes were sour anyway.”
When most people fail, they become like that fox, trying to rationalize their failures and find any excuse to just give up and stop trying at all. This is what hampers their growth and holds back them from finding success in life.
Stop making excuses for your failures. Pull up your socks, don your sneakers, and take another step forward towards your goal.
5. Learn from your failures
Many of us have the tendency to perceive failure as innately bad. As a result, whenever it comes our way, we consider it to be a black cat, an omen of misfortune. Remember, however, that a black cat crossing your path simply means that the cat is going somewhere – not that it’s bringing you your doom!
Instead of an omen of misfortune, think of life’s failures as golden opportunities to learn new things. Your failures are lamps that illuminate your errors in judgment, giving you a second chance to fix those errors and continue on with your journey.
6. Become your own savior
No matter how supportive your friends and family members are, you must keep in mind that they’re still an entirely different person than you are. Their thoughts, feelings, passions, and struggles are vastly different from yours. Likewise, they don’t know you the way you know yourself.
Instead of waiting for a fairy godmother to fix all of your problems, you have to be your own guardian angel and fix your own problems.
7. Stay in the present
The regrets of the past and the uncertainties of the future will only end up immobilizing you and disconnecting you from the simple pleasures of the present. Just try to focus on the “now” and think about ways to make it better.
By living in the present, you will be able to leave your past behind and grow as an individual. It will also allow you to go with the flow, rather than spending too much time and energy stressing about what went wrong or what could go wrong.
8. Failure will lead you to success
Did you know that Steven Spielberg – one of the most influential personalities in the history of cinema and the mind behind movies like Jurassic Park, Schindler’s List, E.T., Jaws, and Indiana Jones – was twice rejected by Southern California’s School of Cinematic Arts? Or that Thomas Edison failed a thousand times before inventing the light bulb, or that Walt Disney was rejected by many editors?
All these great men realized the significance of failure, appreciating its power. Their failures never stopped them from making another attempt… and look where that landed them!
Likewise, you should also maintain a positive outlook and understand that failure will catapult you towards your end goal. Failure is not a dead-end; it is simply a temporary detour.
9. Avoid picking up bad habits
Failures lead people to bad habits like excessive drinking and doing drugs. They feel that these intoxicating substances will numb the pain of failure; little do they realize that these all provide temporary satisfaction and negatively impact health.
So, rather than falling into the trap of these bad habits, pick up a new skill to learn. Maybe learn how to play a musical instrument or learn a new language. Not only will picking up new hobbies divert your mind, but it also makes you a more interesting person!
10. Take reasonable responsibility for your failures
Blaming others for your failures will only take you further away from reality, and your failure will become a stumbling block rather than a stepping stone.
Do not make excuses. Accept your mistakes and focus on learning from them. At the same time, do not take too much responsibility, as this will only create unnecessary tension that stops you from using your failures as life lessons.
11. Develop healthy habits
Ever heard of the term “post-breakup glow up?” This is a term from social media, referring to a person’s internal and external transformation after a rather unfulfilling relationship ends. You can follow this line of reasoning to arrive at the “post-failure glow up.”
Let your failure become a turning point in your life, kickstarting you towards leading a healthier life. Go out, spend time with your friends and family, work out regularly, read daily, avoid smoking and drinking, and eat healthy food.
The Last Word
So, there you have it: 11 very important points to remember to avoid failing in life. Rather than being stuck on a page about failure in your life’s book, turn the page, pick up a pen. and write your own success story – one that has never been heard of by human ears and one that inspires everyone else to get back up after their breakdowns and start afresh.