When your friends invite you to a party, do you suddenly come up with some “important work” you must take care of? When you’re at a party, do you find yourself sitting in the corner with a drink in your hand? Or does your shyness keep you from attending get-togethers at all?
Going to parties and getting to know new people may come naturally to some, but it can be a terrifying nightmare for shy people. If you are one of those shy people, please continue reading.
In this blog, we’ll be going over nine simple tips for overcoming party shyness, so that you can dance your heart out without a care in the world!
Think of Three Conversation Topics Ahead of Time
It’s very common to seemingly have nothing in common with the new people we meet at parties. Things get awkward when you can’t think of anything to say other than an meager “hello.” Don’t worry; there is an easy fix for this problem—think of three conversation topics before even heading to the party, especially if you’ll be seeing dozens of unfamiliar faces. This way, if someone approaches you out of nowhere, you’ll feel at ease knowing you’ve prepared plenty of topics to talk about.
Choose general topics—something that people will feel comfortable discussing. DO NOT become a philosopher, boring people with your strange, perplexing philosophies. Remember that you’re at a party, not a philosophy class. Part of being a good conversationalist involves asking people about their life stories, including where they are from and what they do.
Compliment and Transition
Another smart way to avoid awkward silences when meeting new people at a party is to compliment them. Compliments are excellent icebreakers, since they make people happy. Fortunately, because you are at a party where everyone is likely dressed up, you will automatically have more than enough compliments to hand out.
You can easily break the ice and make things less weird by giving someone a warm compliment. Since you’ve already won the person’s heart with your kind words, they will want to talk to you and get to know you more. Though compliments are the safest way to start a conversation, it’s important to stick to saying stuff that will not offend anyone.
Be specific with your compliments if you want to make a real impact. For example, rather than complimenting your friend on what an amazing a host they are—which many would do—mention a specific aspect of the party that you actually enjoyed, such as their icebreaker activities. Give honest compliments and laud the most unique qualities in that person you admire.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Ask open-ended questions if you want things to progress beyond basic “yes” and “no” answers.
Open-ended questions allow you to demonstrate how good of a listener you are. You will also learn more about their opinions and thoughts. Most importantly, you won’t come across as an obnoxious person who never stops talking! You’ll be able to create deeper connections with people at parties since you are asking questions that allow them to speak. Not many people do that!
So, ask questions that begin with “What if…”, “Why…”, or “How…” After you have asked a question, pay close attention to the response you get. This will help you steer the conversation in a meaningful direction.
Remember: No One Cares
The two most common causes for shyness at parties are fear and the idea of being judged. People believe either that they do not look good enough or that, if they say something, they’ll sound stupid. Maybe they’re worried people will laugh at them if they dance a certain way.
“What are people going to say?” “What will others think of me?” These are the questions that can make many people shun parties. You’d be surprised, however, to learn the truth!
Guess what? Nobody cares what you’re wearing, what you’re saying, or what you’ve done. At a party, people are usually too busy thinking about themselves to worry about you. They have food on the table, and the music is great—why would they focus too much on you? Therefore, you do not need to worry about being judged by others when you’re at parties.
Focus on Others
People are often shy because they are overly concerned with how they look or act. You must stop focusing on yourself, though, if you wish to overcome your shyness. Once you shift your focus from yourself to observe others, you will be able to burst the bubble of shyness and break free! You will cease worrying about what other people think of you; that’s the most amazing feeling! When you feel that way, you’re indeed able just to be yourself.
To shift your focus off yourself, ask people questions and try to learn about them. When they respond, focus on what they’re saying, rather than on what you’ll say next. To put it another way, be an active listener. Sit back, relax, and listen to other people’s life adventures—believe us, people have many great stories.
The best part is that people actually do love talking about themselves. So, if you focus on them, you won’t have to struggle to strike up a conversation—you might even end up building long-term friendships.
Enter the Room with a Smile
Smiling will help you overcome your shyness. If you want people to like you when you go to a party, leave your gloomy face at home when you go out, as a frown might make you seem arrogant and full of yourself. Even if you don’t feel confident when you walk into a room full of strangers, you do not have to show it. Projecting a warm, confident demeanor is as simple as making sure you smile. We cannot emphasize enough how impactful a smile can be.
Best of all, smiles are contagious. If you smile at others, they will surely smile back at you. Thanks to your joyous smile and personality, people may even approach you and to stroke up a conversation. With just a smile, you can overcome your shyness and become the most-liked person at a party.
Practice Makes Perfect
Time to face reality—if you want to enhance your social skills and become a social butterfly, you must practice. Talking to strangers and breaking the ice takes practice, just like everything else in life. Nobody learns how to socialize by sitting on the couch in a dark basement.
To overcome your shyness, you’ll have to venture out of your house and talk to real people, not just the imaginary ones in your fantasies! Dress up, leaveyour house, and surround yourself with positive people. Say “yes” to every party invitation. Just make sure you have your conversation topics and open-ended questions ready.
Make Small Contributions During Group Conversations
Every shy person is terrified of group conversations; they find it difficult to talk to one person, let alone a whole group of extroverts. If you want to overcome your shyness, however, just repeat the phrase “this too shall pass” and face the possibly embarrassing situation head on.
Remember to turn your focus to others and be an active listener. You can only respond to questions or offer ideas if you attentively listen to what others are saying.
Don’t think you have anything to say? For starters, learn what not to do—never sit there like a dumb idol unless you want to be mistaken for the most indifferent person.
To show that you are a participant in the conversation, agree or disagree with what is being said. Say things like “that’s crazy” or “I heard that, too,” and laugh along with everyone else.
Bring a Friend
If you’re still practicing and don’t want to suffer alone, bring a friend with you. That way, you won’t feel awkward and you’ll realize that socializing is not as difficult as you think.
If your friend is an extrovert and has a bunch of people to talk to, that’s even better. You can learn how to socialize with your friend while also getting to practice conversing with a bunch of potential friends. But, even if your friend turns out to be as shy as you are, you can root for each other and deal with the potential embarrassment together!
That’s all there is to it! Now that you have mastered all of the tricks, start putting them to use and winning people’s hearts with your intriguing questions, smiles, and compliments!