It would be an understatement to say that your friends are some of the most important people in your life. From lending you a shoulder to cry on to throwing you a surprise party when you land that new job, they are there for all your highs and lows, giving your life meaning and become a reason for why you love going to work every day.
Unfortunately, friendships can take different forms, sometimes turning out downright toxic. Instead of motivating you and building you up, such friendships can drain you – both mentally and physically. Rather than being sources of laughter and joy, your toxic friends are harbingers of anxiety, stress, and emotional harm; there is no reciprocation of love and care in such relationships.
This does not mean that genuine friends can never have bad days, but they would never lie, let you down, mock you in front of others, and start a trend of flaking out; these behaviors are all red flags for you. You might be dealing with a toxic friend.
Here’s a list of 9 different types of toxic friends that aren’t worth your energy and time on, and who do not deserve your good-natured care and support.
1. The friend who flakes
Your friend may have texted you, “Gurlll, I can’t wait to see you!!!” in preparation to meet you today, but, as you were getting all decked out, they texted a vague, last-minute excuse for not turning up. You felt bad, but you’ll eventually forgive them, forgetting it ever happened.
When this becomes a tendency, however, and they always cancel plans, that is a sign that you have a toxic friend. But you – naive, innocent soul that you are – keep falling for their seemingly concrete meet-up plans; little do you know that the possibility of meeting them is just an illusion.
You have to beware of such friends, as they might fire off zillions of “I’m soooo sorry” texts, but they don’t ever mean it and will continue to hurt you.
2. The friend who tries to pressure you into binge drinking or doing drugs
It is very common for people to fall into unhealthy habits such as binge drinking or doing drugs due to peer pressure. It goes without saying, but forcing someone to do something against their will is a quality of a toxic friend.
Such people will often overtly encourage you to drink and do drugs, but they can also turn to subtle ways of making you drink, such as buying you a drink even if you said “no.” Even if you’re trying to stop drinking, they’ll pass you a bottle and stand in front of the crowd, leading the chants of “chug! chug!” If you deny, this “friend” will humiliate you and call you a coward.
If you have made up your mind and want to quit such habits, however, you shouldn’t fall into their trap. Remember: in trying to convince you, they will normalize things like drinking large quantities and doing harmful drugs, but, now that you have read this blog, you’ll know to stay away and be safe.
3. The friend who is negative about everything all the time
Amongst all, overly negative people are the worst kind of toxic friends, because no one likes to be in the presence of someone who can turn a victory into a failure simply through their cruel and negative words.
These friends have a habit of giving backhanded compliments with hostile intentions behind them. Honestly, their habit of saying something insulting with such ease is almost an impressive skill.
These negative toxic people cannot take any constructive criticism whatsoever, but they will immediately blurt out poisonous criticisms without any second thoughts.
4. The friend who doesn’t support you when you have major life changes
You need friendly support when going through something major in life, be it the sudden demise of a loved one or rejection from your dream college. Such occasions call for a warm hug and comforting words.
Toxic friends, however, often do not turn up on such occasions, and, even if they do, their presence is not comforting, as their vibes are negative; they are just unable to create the emotional space for you to feel safe and placated.
Most of the time, people just need a good listener; someone to whom they can speak their hearts and minds. Toxic people even fail at this simple task, where all they have to do is lend you their ears. They will mumble some negative comments or just seem indifferent while you talk to them.
Therefore, you should dump these people, freeing yourself from such claustrophobic relationships.
5. The friend who expects you to do everything for them but never does you any favors in return
Another telltale sign of a toxic friend is that they take more than they give. The sad part is that they won’t even value your help at all. No matter how many times you babysit their little cousin, they will never walk your dog when you are out of town.
They hit you up whenever they want your opinion on a dress or when there’s a math problem they can’t solve, but they wouldn’t be willing to do the same for you. For them, you are their sidekick, someone who turns up to help out, no matter what.
You don’t have to suffer such one-sided relationships; you have the right to sever all ties with them.
6. The friend who is never happy for you because of jealousy
Toxic friends will never be happy for your success. If you’re flooded with excitement because you just got a raise, you won’t receive a congratulation from your toxic friend, who just dampens your enthusiasm with some negative comments. Even if they congratulate you, their tone will be underwhelming, immediately deflating you.
Out of jealousy, they will dismiss any good news you share, moving on from it very quickly. They will always compare themselves with you, feeling sad for themselves more than feeling happy for you.
7. The friend who wants nothing to do with you as soon as they have a new boyfriend/girlfriend
A good friend will always value the efforts you put into their friendship. On the other hand, a toxic friend will accept your help in finding a new hot guy or girl, forgetting you as soon as they get a partner in their life. Once they have started enjoying the honeymoon phase, they will forget that you were there with them when they were still trying to get over their last ex. Even if you convey this concern to them, they will likely just accuse you of being jealous.
In such a toxic relationship, you will end up feeling abandoned and alone. Therefore, it is better for you to spend your time with someone who values you and your help.
8. The Judgmental Friend
There is nothing wrong with voicing opinions; people appreciate constructive criticism. When people are overly opinionated, however, that enters them into “annoying” territory. This judgmental attitude is a quintessential quality of toxic friends.
These people blurt out their views to everyone, even when they aren’t needed. They don’t really have any good motives behind judging people, continuing to let people down and mock them. They just send their negative opinions out into the atmosphere, making people feel bad, then they go on about their days. That’s just how they function, only spreading negativity. You do not need them in your life.
9. The Constant Liar
Real friends make mistakes and lie sometimes, but that’s okay, because they know they must confess and put everything back in place. In toxic friendships, however, lying becomes a trend. The sacred virtue of trust – the foundation of all relationships – is missing in such toxic connections.
Lying is almost second nature for your toxic friends. The worst part is that, when confronted, they take the emotional route, pretending as if they are disappointed in you for not believing them. They have a skill of doing wrong but making you feel guilty of confronting them about it. Such a friend will only drain your mental energy, and is definitely unworthy of your precious time.
The Last Word
These types of people do not deserve you and your loyalty because they will always mistreat you, while never valuing you. We even consider the term “toxic friend” as an oxymoron, though, because a real friend cannot be toxic and a toxic person is not worthy of being called a friend. It’s about time to bid farewell to these people so that you can value those who reciprocate the respect you show them.